It All Started with a Cookie…
I come from a long line of independent women. Independent, a little rebellious, and a little crazy in the best possible way.
My grandma once chased a snake around her living room with a grabber while driving her power chair. I broke my ankle rescuing a turtle. Those are the kinds of moments that eventually become family legends.
And we’ve never been short on them.
Every family has sayings that only make sense to the people in it. One of many in ours was, “Well…she pulled a Shirley.”
Shirley was my grandma—my mom’s mom. If someone ended up in a bizarre accident or an unbelievable predicament, somebody in the family was bound to say, “Well…she pulled a Shirley.” These days, my mom, Sue—aka Suz—seems to have inherited the title.
Which brings us to the Great Cookie Mix-Up.
Mom had been dealing with a lot of aches and pains and decided to try a more natural approach. She wanted to try some CBD because friends had told her how much it had helped them. So, a friend gave her a couple of cookies and told her to eat just half of one.
Well…Suz ate half, but it didn’t seem to help. So, using what I’m sure made perfect sense at the time, she decided if half wasn’t working, she needed more.
She ate the other half…
…and then decided the cookies tasted pretty good, so she might as well eat the second one too.
No problem, right? Wrong.
When the cookies kicked in, things got funky. Dad called me, and we made a trip to the ER. We started to conclude that her magic cookies probably contained THC, not CBD.
After we got settled into an exam room, we were waiting to be seen when Mom suddenly decided she’d had enough of wearing her bra. Before Dad or I could stop her, she whipped it off and threw it across the room just as a handsome, petite male nurse walked in.
Perfect timing.
He never missed a beat. While he started taking Mom’s vitals, I explained that she was supposed to eat half of what she thought was a CBD cookie, but in actuality we were pretty sure it was THC—and instead of eating half, she’d eaten two whole cookies. CBD, THC, tomato, tamahto…Suz wasn’t an expert on the matter.
Mom, at this point, had other priorities.
She looked that nurse up and down, smiled, and said, “You’re so cute, I just want to put you in my pocket and take you home.”
To which I replied, “Mom…he’s not a Polly Pocket.”
Then she got the giggles…
…and couldn’t quit laughing.
The poor guy turned every shade of red imaginable. I was laughing because she was laughing, and I looked over at Dad. He shook his head with a grin and said, “I’ll be in the waiting room.” Then he quietly made his escape.
I think he found the whole situation pretty amusing…but he also figured it was probably safer out there. After 55 years of marriage, he knew there was no telling what a woman who’d accidentally eaten two THC cookies might say or do next. So, this one was between my mother, the hospital staff and me.
They ran the labs and confirmed there was nothing medically wrong. Suz was simply higher than a kite. Thankfully, after a little time and a lot of reassurance, the effects wore off, Mom was just fine, and we all went home with yet another family legend.
On the way home, Dad looked at Mom and said, “That ended up being a pretty expensive cookie.” He wasn’t wrong. But if you ask me…the story is priceless. Let’s just say…there are plenty more Sue Stories where this came from.
Today, I just want to say…Happy Birthday, Mom!
Thank you for always keeping life interesting, for giving us stories we’ll be laughing about for years, and for carrying on Grandma Shirley’s legacy in your own unforgettable way. I love you more than words can say. 
Here’s hoping this next trip around the sun brings you good health, some heart healing, lots of laughter, plenty of adventures…and fewer emergency room visits. Grandma Shirley is probably smiling from heaven, shaking her head, and saying, “Yep…that’s my girl.”
Anyway—Off We Go. 
Some heirlooms sit on shelves. Ours get retold around kitchen tables. I think those are the most valuable ones of all.
© Erica Shoemaker | Anyway—Off We Go.
